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Overview of training
Overview of training
We believe (and the research supports) that most "problems with my pet" are actually bad training. we believe that there are some breeds that are harder to train, whether that be from a lower intelligence level or a mental problem (poor emotional regulation in the average Pomeranian for example). That being said we believe that almost all animals, particularly if you have chosen a non-designer breed (they are often inbred or bred for aesthetics rather than health, mental or physical) can be trained.
Training does take time and effort, particularly mental effort on your part. You can choose "not to train" your animal, but what this really is is letting your subconscious decide what to teach your animal. Whether you do it intentionally for a reason or without thinking, your animal is learning what is allowed and the consequences for disobeying in addition to what your relationship is based on (respect, pain, ignoring, etc.). While training does take time we believe that you are going to put in time regardless and you need to choose where. Are you going to spend time focusing on your behaviour and how your animal interprets that along with what is and is not acceptable behaviorally for your family, or are you going to spend time cleaning up excitement pee, or putting effort into kids never seeing your badly socialized animal. All of these options take time, but if you choose to intentionally train them the time will mostly be invested during the puppy period of their life and will be a habit that takes little to no thought for the rest of their lives. If you instead choose "not to" train your animal you will put in small amounts of frustrated time for their entire life.
The most common problem Alexandra faced while professionally training other peoples animals was inconsistency. Consistency is often compromised through a lack of persistence. Very few people plan not to train their animal. Usually a badly trained animal is a result of the animal out stubborning the person, or the person being inconsistent as soon as the person is stressed or tired which undermines the training. Inconsistency in which command you use often results in the animal not understanding the command at all. In Alexandra's experience most animals have a number of words they are capable of learning based on their intelligence. Something most people do not realize is that each different tone you use when training is a different word to your animal. One simple command such as "sit" can actually take up many word slots in their memory storage if you say it in a variety of ways such as excitedly, angrily, sadly, these are all different words in their mind now. This is not generally an issue because the number of words a given animal can store is quite a bit higher than most people think. This does become a problem if there are multiple commands though. If for example when you want your animal to go into the car you say "in", "up", or "car", or snap and point into the car. Each of the three words each have a variety of tones in which you say them. So instead of one command your animal has actually had to learn about 13 (3 words x 4 tones + 1 hand motion). Consistency is also almost always why "my animal will only take commands from" problems occur. If you have consistent commands and consequences for disobeying them across your family or friend group your animal will respond to any of them. If however one family member says a command and there are no consequences for disobeying it is unlikely that your animal will obey. Or if each person uses a different command the animal will likely choose to remember and follow only the commands of the family member they respect the most.
And your animal respecting you is important. There are many training programs that tell you how to make your animal respect you and we believe that this is a hilariously wrong view. You can not make a human respect you, based on your actions they decide if they do or do not respect you. Why would this be different in an animal? You need to act in a way that is respectable and let your animal choose. Something many people seem to not realize unless it is said aloud is that respect is the foundation of all relationships. You can not love someone you don't also respect. This is true for animals as well. Respect generally comes in two forms as far as training is concerned. First off is that if there are no consequences for actions, or inconsistent consequences they are unlikely to respect you enough to obey the rule. Second is that consent is important for a relationship and many pet owners do not respect when their animal tells them no. This results in a host of behavioural problems spawned from distrust. If you constantly disturb an animal when they are sleeping because "they are so cute" for example, they are likely to hide from you when trying to sleep. This can look like a dog who insists on digging a hole to sleep in, or a cat who climbs into air ducts to sleep. These are bad negative behaviours that are caused by your lack of respect for their desires and their lack of respect for your wants in return. Alongside respect is trust. Many animals will not follow commands even though they know what they owner wants if they do not feel safe. If you have let little children terrorize your pet in the past instead of teaching respect for animals, or if you have made them lay down in mud, or a host of other things, they will not trust that you will keep them safe. They do not understand our world and their instincts will not always keep them safe, we as owners need them to trust us enough to listen to us over their instincts which requires respect. For example an animal that has had its tail run over in the past could run out into traffic to try to get away from the car and be killed. If trained to follow commands even when distressed, if they trust you to keep them safe, they will listen instead. All relationships are reciprocal, if your animal does not respect you they will, at the least, not be as easy to train.
You can use fear or pain to teach animals, shock and choke collars for example. In many cases these methods do get the result you are looking for, they will stop barking or be more obedient during walks. But because the method you used was not respect but domination based it is likely to cause other problems, particularly if these are the only methods (not positive reinforcement as well) or if these are used long term. While Alexandra was training a common problem was unintended consequences. Shock collars often resulted in dogs who would bite if you touched their neck for example. They understood what replacing the batteries meant and had developed sensitive skin and a strong negative association when being touched on their neck. As a result you could be petting their chest or head, but when your hand strayed to their neck they would bite. The owners were not paying enough attention to realize this though and thought that their dog bit randomly, and when they bit the owners would use yet more negative physical consequences which just reinforced to their dog that being touched on the neck meant pain. If your training is not respect based there will be consequences to you and your animal.
Body language does affect training. Animals notice when you lunge at them or raise your fist, and understand (often better than people) the threat implied, as body language is generally how animals communicate with one another. If you have never hit your dog, but do lunge at them then stop yourself while upset, you will still see behavioural consequences of this as your animal will take it as the threat it is. Be mindful of what you are doing with your face and your hands. One reason many people struggle to sign train animals is that they pick hand gestures they use on a regular basis, and as such use them unintentionally when they were not meant as a command. Additionally some body language that another human would understand to mean one thing, is understood completely differently by animals. Therefore simply paying attention to what your body is doing can teach you about your pet, what they see and how they respond to you. Additionally, animals notice facial expressions, particularly your eyes. Angry eyes do not look like calm or happy eyes and animals (particularly cats) pick up on the state of your eyes immediately. Even if you are controlling your tone, your body could be telling your animal things you are not meaning to. Please be aware we are not saying that you are not allowed to feel emotions around your animal. Often all the negative reinforcement a dog needs (given their psychological need to pack bond) is for their person to look disappointed. But yelling at or being physically aggressive towards your pet, particularly while you are trying to train them, is counterproductive.
Patience with your animal is key to achieving a mutually respectful relationship and successful training. As previously stated body language and tone affect training, both of which tend to get out of control if you let negative emotions take over during the training process. Keep in mind that you are not the same species. What you are trying to train them is often directly against their species norms and instincts. Remember that just because you think if you were being trained by a more intelligent species (which sometimes is your dog) you would have grasped the concept by now, does not mean they should have. Our social norms, cleanliness standards, food habits and more are completely alien to them. But if you are patient, persistent, listen to (and watch your animals), and set your animals up for success, they will come to understand what you expect and that it makes you happy when they obey, and you will come to understand what they want and need to be happy.
References
https://www.akc.org/expert-advice/training/teaching-your-pup-self-control/
https://ocm.auburn.edu/experts/2019/10/010117-designer-dogs-breeding.php
https://2pawsupinc.com/2022/02/28/teaching-your-dog-with-confidence-and-respect/
https://holidaybarn.com/blog/respecting-your-dog/
https://www.vetstreet.com/our-pet-experts/use-your-body-language-to-help-your-dog-behave
Training methods and decisions we disagree with and why
Training methods and decisions we disagree with and why
Collars that are pain based
By this we mean shock collars, choke collars, prong training collars and others of this sort.
The problem with collars like this is that no matter which collar type you have chosen it is going to teach them bad habits, or you could say have unintended consequences. Choke collars and prong training collars tend to cause fear which results in a variety of lashing out from the pet to the owners, from biting to chewing shoes. Choke collars can also cause brain damage from lack of oxygen, and throat damage from being constricted frequently in an unnatural way. While prong collars can cause puncture wounds and nerve damage. Shock collars tend to make pets not want to be petted, especially around the neck which is now sensitive, often resulting in biting, hiding, or even urinating when approached for pets.
Retractable leashes
Retractable leashes work for many dogs and if you are using one and are happy with the behaviour of you animal then don't switch.
That being said we believe that retractable leashes cause bad habits in the people who use them. There are many different standards for what a walk looks like. For example our animals are expected to; stay within a certain range of us (this is much smaller on leash and much larger off but both have distance expectations), not pull regularly on their leash, and keep up in general (want to smell something that's all well and good but by the time the leash pulls taught you're expected to be moving again). These things are much easier to maintain with a non-retractable leash because you are more easily able to give consistent tactile feedback to the animal. Retractable leashes often go slack in the middle at certain distances, as opposed to a non-retractable leash which will progressively grow more taught as the distance increases. This means that with a non-retractable leash your pet knows based on the feel of the leash how far away they are from you without needing to look back or be told, whereas a retractable leash will need one of those two for the animal to notice the difference. This can be done, you could have a sound command for when your pet gets too far away, or expect the pet to constantly check with you. Another common problem with retractable leashes is that they are too long. Many dogs and people believe that if your pet is too far away from you you can not have control over them and will be stressed when the leash is at full extension. But more importantly if a variety of situations arise you will be too far away to help. For example if a car is swerving drunkenly around the corner, or a stray animal comes charging at your pet. Your pet and their connection to you also become a tripping hazard for any around you at full extension, the thin cord is often hard or impossible to see. Additionally, during the training phase of an animals life, you can not enforce rules from that far away, which often causes poor training and the continual need to revisit training rather than establishing habits that become second nature.
Additionally the force with which retractable leashes retract can physically harm your animal. Whiplash is not an uncommon injury in pets who are regularly walked with retractable leashes. Regular use of retractable leashes can, if they are used carelessly, cause tracheal and vertebrae damage over time, creating an unhealthy elderly pet where there would not be one if something as simple as a different leash was used.
And lastly the thin cord and the retraction method are dangerous to people and pets getting caught or tangled in them. Often this is minor rope burn, but literal digit amputation has occurred.
All of these problems are avoidable if the owner is always attentive to their leash and their pet and their pet is well trained. However we all have times when we are tired and not paying attention and with a retractable leash if everything were to go wrong that could mean you and/or your pet are physically maimed for the rest of your life. This price for inattention is simply too high as far as we are concerned.
Kennels
We do not like kennels, but there is nothing unavoidably wrong with them either.
Many argue that a kennel gives the pet a safe place to retreat to. While we do not disagree with this in essence, so does a bed if respected. If an animal is retreating to a closed in space it can make them feel that a closed in space is the only way to be safe. We would much rather our pets realize that in certain places we will not disturb them, but these places can still be around us, have a view, be in the light, or other desirable resting attributes for the pet. But if you or those you live with have a hard time using self control to not disturb them in their safe space a kennel can be a perfect option as it is difficult to disturb them while they are enclosed. A safe place does not need to be a kennel and a non-kennel safe place can teach more respect.
Again a common argument for kennels is safe transportation. And again we do not disagree with the statement, we simply believe there are better options. If you have a hatch there are a variety of catch nets that work like seat belts for your animal if there was to be an accident. We use harnesses (so if there is an accident their weight would not all be on their necks) and seat belt attachments meant for them. Both these methods mean you need to teach your animal not to scratch or bite the car seats, but we believe that this is the same as teaching them not to scratch or bite the furniture. When training we are careful to use the consistent terminology so that our pets realize that the soft thing we sit on in the house has the same rules for them as the soft thing we sit on in the car. Both these methods have your pets being trusted to behave which helps increase respect. Both have your pet able to see and move more naturally. Both these methods transfer effortlessly to walking which you should trust your pet to do in any circumstances if they are properly trained and healthy. Kennels on the other hand are confining. If an animal is prone to motion sickness it will generally be worse in a kennel, much like a child who is less motion sick if they sit in the front seat because they can see easier. Many people only use their kennel for negative experiences such as punishment or vet trips, and so the animal develops a negative association and begins to stress the moment the kennel is brought out. If alternatively you walk them into the vet you will need to control them but through norms you should have already established and be using on a daily basis. For example if a cat runs across the street while we are walking the dogs we expect them not to run after them, in a vet we would expect our dogs not to try to chase a cat as well. Most animals find assurance in routine. Being expected to follow walk norms while at the vet would be stress reducing, as opposed to an obvious lack of trust in their self control with a kennel and increased stress due to negative association instead of routine.
Many people also believe that the kennel is a great place for their pets to sleep, and in some situations this may even be the best option. A kennel for night does give them a physically safe space of their own (where you can not trip on them so safer for you as well), as well as consistency. However, we believe that a pet is a sentient creature you have decided to take care of and enjoy for a significant time commitment and they should be both trusted and allowed to use your home, and kennels encourage a slide of thinking away from this. For example if a dog chews your shoes overnight so you kennel them at night, odds are they will simply chew your shoes while you are at work. The common response is then to kennel them while you are at work too. So they chew your shoes when you are not looking in the evening. The most common response to this is that you should always have eyes on or restrained your pet. This dichotomy of existence for your pet is a very poor quality of life where they are not trusted. We believe that more than 8 hours in a kennel per day is cruel, and many who start with a safe place at night to sleep slide into kenneling for 16 hours a day (8 of sleep and 8 of work). No person would be happy in a life where they could just stand up and turn around for 16 out of 24 hours in a day, and yet people are surprised and indignant when their animals are displeased with this sort of life. We also believe in training properly, if your animal can not follow the rules if they leave your sight they are not trained. Animals are capable of being trained and trusted. We simply believe that kennels encourage a line of thought that forgets that you have an intelligent animal with needs, wants, and a life to live.
All that being said we do Kennel our dogs if the entire family is out of the house at the same time, as both have rather severe separation anxiety. And we do own kennels and have regular access to them as a training exercise, a use when we are out, and in case of a pet health emergency.
Commands should be given once
Many pet owners think that it is best to give a command over and over until it is obeyed, we believe this is completely wrong. Primarily because it reduces the amount of respect and trust between the owner and the pet. When you give a command your pet should be trusted to have heard and respond. You should be respected enough by them that they are listening for your words. When repeating commands each time you say it you decrease how much respect you expect from your pet.
Additionally, in a panic situation you cannot wait for them to decide to listen and respond, there is not enough time. If a dog is charging at your dog, and they do not see it, and you command "heel" and they do not respond they could literally be killed. As well as the problem that repeated commands make it blurry when disobedience has occurred and should be corrected. How much time they get after a command, and if the command is repeated (once) before being expected to be followed is dependent on where they are in their training journey.
Obviously we are not saying a word once to a puppy and immediately punishing if the command is not followed. However, once they are completely trained all commands should be followed promptly after being said once. Keep in mind that punishment can look like anything from being disappoint, to ending a walk early, to not getting to go with to the store next time, to no treats, and many many more that are not mentally scaring or physically abusive.
Excitement pee is acceptable
Many pet owners feel that it is cruel to expect your animals to emotionally regulate. We disagree. Emotional regulation is required to live. Your animal already does it. Every time they do not eat until they throw up, every time they stop playing, every time they follow a command, they are emotional regulating. Deciding that because the emotion is excitement you accept peeing in the house when you do not for any other emotion or situation is ridiculous. If they are expected to regulate their emotions and bodies well enough not to pee in the house, they are capable of being taught not to excited pee.
Pulling on leash
Here again respect comes into play. Your animal needs to respect your chosen walking speed. People walk at varying speeds in varying situations that animals do not necessarily understand. Your dog should be able to walk with anyone, so even if they do not pull normally, they need to also not pull if you are with a toddler, elder, or physically infirm person. The animal needs to understand and respect that you set the pace and route, not them, because you do.
Additionally it is dangerous to you and your pet if pulling is an action that they think is appropriate. Again, they do not understand our world, and many situations would be hazardous if entered into off balance, being dragged. For example a dog could suddenly yank you into traffic, because they saw a squirrel on the other side of the street. As well as the important note that your children should be able to walk your pet and if your pet is pulling hard for the walk, a small child could not. This is also true if you get a big and or strong breed. They are capable of man-handling you once they are full grown, and need to be trained that you are in charge not them.
Another factor is the physical health of the animals throat and your shoulders. Constant pressure is not meant to be applied to throats and is damaging. Some people reduce this risk by using a harness, but that just gives the dog less tactile feedback from their leash and tends to increase the amount of pull because you have encouraged it.
Lastly and most importantly for us is the enjoyment of both the humans and the animals on the walk. You are taking the same length of walk weather their pulling or not, and if you do not teach them this may not even realize it. But odds are if the animal is constantly pulling both the owner and the pet will be frustrated during the walk, and enjoy it a lot less. There is a conflict of speed desire, and essentially, instead of discussing this and coming to an agreement you are physically fighting over it for the duration of every walk.
Treats for expected actions and behaviours (pooping, not barking, etc.)
Many pet owners believe that (especially for dogs) they need to give a treat after every deification. This to our view, is because it is a common device used by puppy training classes for potty training. We think it is simply ridiculous. Your animal is going to deficate with or without treats. We believe that treats should be a reward for superflous tricks that are exculusively for the enjoyment of the owner or "I love you" treats and nothing else. Regular bodily needs and expected behaviours should not be treated beyond potentially during a training phase. This is because all intelligent creatures will rise to expectations, and expecting little from you animal will result in little. Respect them enough to take care of bodily functions and behave in a way that you find acceptable, without immediate gratification, and they will.
Pet foods are balanced complete diets and treats throw this. In Canada animal treats do not need to have their ingredients or nutritional information on them. Many pet owners feed their pets treats because their pets like it. This is ridiculous. People enjoy drinking wine but we would never give a child a glass as a reward for doing their chores (behaviour equivalent) or taking a shower (bodily function). Even if you were extremely irresponsible and did that you would not continue to do that for their entire life. You may think this is an absurd parallel to draw, but many treats are drugged. If you want a less extreme example, particularly if your treats are not drugged, it would be the equivalent of giving your child a can of Coke every time they went poop. We do reward toddlers and puppies for behaviours we are trying to teach. But these rewards need to be healthy, and are temporary. Knowing what is in your treats and how many you can safely give is important to the life long health and happiness of your pet, as is being a functioning adult.
Pee pads
While pee pads are a way to house train puppies we vehemently dislike them both for housetraining the young and all other applications we can think of. The primary problem with house training at any age with pee pads is the amount of time that they sit in your house dirty. As soon as possible, and certainly as soon as you notice it an accident should be made evident as a bad thing to the dog and then cleaned. But with pee pads, especially if used overnight or at work, the dog will be with that pee smell for an extended period of time and will not as quickly or definitively understand that their pee smell should never exist in the home. Additionally, many people think that pee pads magically make all the mess go away and do no additional cleaning to throwing it out is needed. This prolongs the smell even longer. Additional cleaning is needed if; the not waterproofed edge was hit, a couple drops went over (especially with males), if the dog walked in it while it was fresh and still wet, or if the dog played with the pee pad before or after peeing and compromised the water seal on the bottom. These are frequent occurrences with pee pads, so if you are needing to sanitize the area with an enzymatic cleaner anyway, why would you also use a training crutch that teaches that it is ok to pee in the house, at least to some degree. Many dogs also struggle with the removal of the pee pad once the owner decides that they are too old and it is time for the pee pad to go. This is a spot in the house that you have taught them it is ok to pee in, and it likely smells like pee, even if you are doing additional cleaning to simply throwing out the pee pad, if that pee has been sitting there for hours the smell will sink in to the surrounding surfaces. But many people do house train with pee pads successfully.
We believe that pee pads in any circumstances other than puppy house training are wrong. One excuse often employed is that the pet can not hold it long enough and they need an option. Depending on breed and age the amount of time that bladders can be held comfortably changes. That being said we believe that if you are making them wait so long that they can not hold it you should not have a dog. Dogs are regular walking maintenance their entire lives, and that should have been known to you before you signed up to get a dog. Pee pads are unnatural, but more than that if the dog is waiting that long between walks they are mentally and physically bored as well. Lastly lots of people do not realize that left to their own devices on a farm most dogs will only pee once or twice a day, they can and do, even when it is 100% their own choice, hold their bladders for extended periods of time.
Another regularly offered reason is that if they are going to make a mess I want them making it here. Again we think this is ridiculous. Carpet cleaners are expensive and if you can't afford one there are other options. Many enzymatic cleaners are spray and leave in types. Without the carpet cleaner aspect to get rid of the volume of liquid your carpet may stay wet for a while, but enzymatic cleaners eat biological materials so there is no chance of mold developing from it. We believe that you should be prepared to clean accidents anywhere your puppy has access to before you get them. If you do not have the time or are not willing to put in the effort to clean when accidents happen then you should get an already house trained adult dog, if you should be getting a dog at all when you are not prepared to put in the effort to make them and yourself happy and healthy long term.
Yet another reason that we have heard is they can not be trusted not to go in the house for long stretches. This is simply ridiculous. Even 8 week old puppies can and do hold their bladders for stretches of time. But all adults are capable of holding their bladders regardless of what is going on inside or outside the house if they are trained and expected to do so. If you start using pee pads as an in case, you will likely have chronic accidents or always need them. The animal is not likely to understand that the pee pad is just in emergencies, and will instead use it as it is intended, to pee in the house in a sanctioned way.
Diapers
We believe that diapers are cruel, full stop. We have never once seen an animal in a diaper that did not look miserable.
When diapers are used temporarily after surgery of some sort, we accept the necessity. After all cones are cruel and we would not put one on an animal just because, but to save their life, if it is temporary, it is an acceptable cost.
When diapers are used for heat reasons in female animals therefore it falls mostly under temporary, and again we do accept it grudgingly. We personally let Lothlorien clean up after herself as best she can, and if there is a spot (which is generally two spots the size of your thumb per heat (twice a year)) we clean it up.
When diapers are used long term medically we believe that the animal should be put down. For the simple reason of their quality of life being too low. Dogs need walks for many reasons, but they also need to have normal bowel and bladder movements to feel healthy, just like humans. Even humans who need diapers as adults are usually miserable for the rest of their lives. When we as humans get pets it is understood that they will much more than likely die first. Who are you prolonging their life for? Is it for their quality of life, or to delay you having to lose them? You will lose them eventually, but will you torture them for years as well?
And lastly people who think diapers are a necessary training tool we will never understand. We refuse to believe (and have never seen) an animal that could not be trained not to excited pee. There simply are no animals, barring a few medical reasons that could develop, that can not be house trained. Diaper's are therefore an absurd crutch that is torturing your animal.
Resources
Resources if you are having a hard time training
Resources if you are having a hard time training
Pet training classes
Many pet stores and individuals offer training, Alexandra did this for several years. Common complaints are; it is expensive, and it does not last beyond the training session. In response to the first I raise that an untrained animal is often expensive. Whether you are buying pee pads, replacing furniture or cords, or a host of other things that your pet can either damage or "need" as a result of bad training. The other thing to remember is that pet training classes are NOT about training your pet, they are about training you. If you do not intend to change your habits, any sort of training intervention is a waste. If your habits were healthy for you and your pet you would not need help in training. For training classes to be effective you need to accept both that YOU are a part of the problem and that you will need to make changes. Pay close attention to what the trainer is saying, and ask questions. If what they are teaching only works in class then they are proving that their methods do work for your animal and it is underlining that you or your home environment are the problem. Alexandra left the private training business for being told not to say these things to people. But in her experience training classes have steadily gotten less effective because people refuse to face reality before they begin and then are upset at the "waste of money". If you are committed to the training process, to listening, to changing, it will work.
Books and research
There is a ton of books and research about dogs, often a problem with training occurs from a lack of understanding on the part of the owner. We realize that there is a lot of misinformation out there and a lot of outdated information as well, and that not everyone knows how to vet if a source is valid. If you are interested in research but need help reach out to us, we would be happy to help. That being said Dog Training for Dummies by Jack Volhard and Wendy Volhard is a good book with practical advice and reasons why if you just need somewhere to start.
Being around well trained animals
Another thing you could try is exposure both for you and your pet. Seeing is believing. If the classes are too unrealistic and the research is too complicated or hard to apply find someone to observe. Most well trained pets owners are happy to discuss why they do what they do and will correct you if you ask them to when you are doing things wrong. Being corrected in the moment often is more helpful training for you than general advice. Often pet owners do not even realize what they are doing or how the animal sees what they are doing.
Socializing can be hard, especially if you do not have someone in your life whose training results you respect. But ask yourself is your and your pets happiness worth the effort. If the answer is no then it is unlikely you will succeed at training and we believe you should find a different home for your pet where they will be happy and you can be happy as well. If on the other hand you think that your households happiness is worth it, camp out at a pet store or a dog park for a day, or several days and observe how people interact with their animals. Pick someone you think has what you want in their pet relationship, and go up and talk to them. We know, we know, you are not supposed to talk to strangers. But we are not suggesting you give them your home address right off the bat. Meet a few times in public and wait until you are sure of them before giving personal information. Generally people who can maintain a healthy relationship with their pets are decent people that you can talk to.
Make a personal dictionary for commands with consequences attached
If you are struggling with consistency especially over multiple people you are living with, try simply writing it down. Memory is hard especially in the moment. Share this document with everyone you want to be able to command your animal and ask them to hold you accountable if you said the wrong word or were too harsh or too lax in your punishment. This simple consistency aid, can make an immense difference in your training attempts.
If at wits end, rehome
We believe that people should do research before getting a pet so they know what they are getting into in every aspect; play needs, emotional needs, lifespan, financial cost, legality (ease of finding a place to live with them for example or bylaws where you do live about pets). Therefore, we believe that significant effort should be put into making you and your pet happy once you have acquired them. You have committed to them for their life expectancy (not just time, but potential problems as well). This is also why we believe that it is extremely wrong to get someone a pet as a surprise gift. They need to know what they are getting into, and it is a large commitment over a significant amount of time. But if you were gifted an animal, or have tried everything and are still unhappy with your life together, consider rehoming. Odds are if you are at your wits end with the pet the pet is also at their wits end with you. Being unhappy literally shortens living creatures lives. Both you and your pet deserve to be happy. Don't torture yourself and them for years because you made a rash purchase one day. Many animal shelters, pet stores, and breeders (including us!) would be happy to try and help find a home where your animal can be happy.
It is NEVER too late to train!!
It is NEVER too late to train!!
Of great importance is to realize is that it is never too late to train. The phrase "can't teach an old dog new tricks" is WRONG! While training pets who have not yet reached maturity is easier training adults is still possible. In fact some things such as potty training can be much easier with an adult dog because they have a fully developed bladder and bladder control. If you are in a situation with your animal you feel is not giving you or your pet a good quality of life then take the responsibility and give the commitment to train your pet and it will happen.
This is true no matter how large your dog is. It is a common sentiment that once a dog is too big to pick up they can not possibly be trained, this is wrong. You may need to resort to a shock collar or kenneling TEMPORARILY to start establishing norms and respect for you and your pet, if they are large and out of control. But training is still possible at any age.
References
https://www.pethonesty.com/blogs/blog/tips-for-training-an-adult-dog
https://www.akc.org/expert-advice/training/how-to-housetrain-an-adult-dog/
Rules we have for our pets and how we enforce them
Rules we have for our pets and how we enforce them
No counters (cat on, dog head over, stealing for both)
No damaging things
No chewing on
cords
furniture
shoes
blankets
stuffed animals (that are no their explicit toys)
No scratching on
floor boards
doors
walls
furniture
Don't make a mess of/scatter your food
Don't make a mess of your water
Don't bite/scratch people
Don't bark except when it is an appropriate time
Dogs need to bark occasionally to be mentally happy. It is a normal natural behaviour that should not be utterly stamped out. But we believe that they should not be used excessively either. Both because it is annoying and can instigate problems where there were none with other animals.
Our dogs are allowed to bark when;
playing outside
someone in the house (past the door) that we did not clear
when playing (not in our face, after ball is thrown (not before), running beside the bike, at the dog bark)
on command as a trick
Barking is not permitted when;
when someone is outside (animal or people)
at the doorbell
after we have said a person can enter the house
Growling/hissing rules
There are times when animals need to use these aggressive noises and as such they should not be completely irradicated. But we believe that they should not be used excesively either. Both because it is annoying and can instigate problems where there were none with other animals.
allowed when;
specific types of play (like tug)
a dog/cat is making the dog/cat uncomfortable (charging at, while the cat is in the litter, etc.)
not allowed when;
with other animals ever even during play
they should not need to tell me they do not feel safe, because they should trust that I will keep them safe, growling from one animal can quickly escalate a situation
because the cat/dog exists or is doing normal behaviours like walking
At people
Don't jump up on people ever (jumping onto lap after invite is ok)
No licking (without consent, never licking glasses)
If you're scared by something you come behind me and I will protect you
Commands we use and their function
Commands we use and their function
If you are thinking of buying from us then learning and using these commands could greatly increase your odds of succeeding at training and decrease the amount of time spent training. If you do not like what we have chosen either for vocabulary or signal, do not be scared to change them. Animals are smart and adaptable and will be able to learn new things.
If you are just looking for training tips and tricks this list might be useful. This is all the commands we have trained our animals to respond to, what response we expect, and why we trained this action. Obviously there are a more words that our pets recognize such as our names, but because these to not require an action on the part of the animal these are not trained commands and therefore excluded from this list.
Something of great importance to note about these commands is that our family has put in the effort to consistently use the same tone for each word. Something most people do not realize is that each different tone you use when training is a different word to your animal. We believe that each animal has a limited number of words they are capable of remembering, determined by how smart the animal is. One simple command such as "sit" can actually take up many word slots in their memory storage. If you give a command in a variety of ways such as excitedly, angrily, sadly, these are all different words in their mind now. This is not generally an issue because the number of words a given animal can store is quite a bit higher than most people think. But we believe in making life as easy for the animal as possible, and would rather have 50 unique words they understand giving more spice and variety to their training and life than 10 with 5 different tones each. This is not made up and the research supports this, especially with dogs.
We train all of our pets with both hand signals and auditory signals for several reasons. First of all there are times when you need to be loud or quiet. For example if your dog is running at the park and can not see you a hand signal will not help, and if your family or roommates are sleeping you may not want to command out loud (and if you whisper that is a different tone). Secondly if you are very upset for some reason and simply can not control your tone the animal will still be able to recognize the hand signal. Thirdly we just think it looks cool when someone can control their animal with a simple gesture.
Many of our commands are focused on emotional regulation. We believe that a significant number of animal behavioural problems occur because the animal is feeling a significant emotion that is either inappropriate in amount or type for situation. If with their pack the other members would teach the animal what was appropriate, when, and why. But because pets are often raised in isolation from other animals we the owners need to help them learn this skill. There is a significant amount of research that says that animals are not capable of emotional regulating unless taught by a human but we believe this to be wrong. After all animals do get along in groups in nature and there needs to be social norms that are followed for that to occur. Additionally, animals do not eat until they throw up in the wild because they control the joy of food emotion with their minds. Which we believe is taught to them by their parents and pack when they are young. But when pets are taken from their parents young and get only short bursts of socialization with their own kind, we believe they miss that crucial learning. Regardless of whether or not animals are capable of emotional regulation without human intervention all trainers agree that teaching emotional regulation skills is extremely helpful to the training process and quality of life for the family.
Example of format
Number. auditory - visual (if motion is involved in the signal) = action we want the pet to do
The explanation would go here.
N.A. = Not Applicable. There are only so many hand signs that we do not use regularly in life that an animal could easily distinguish from other hand signals, as such not all commands have a hand signal.
Snap - point = come where we want them to be
This is a versatile command to be used in a number of circumstances.
If an animal (particularly a dog) is misbehaving often just being made to stop what they are doing and come in front of their clearly unhappy owners is all the negative reinforcement needed. If you interrupt play with this signal it is obvious to the pet that whatever they were doing is not ok with you.
Getting into or out of things at command. Everything from the shower/tub, to the car, to their kennel and more. Training this command gives you a way to get (especially large animals) in or out of a thing without needing to move them yourself.
This also allows you to avoid certain hazards with your dog. Along with heel these two commands can bring your dog to you when you see a hazard that they do not, or do not consider to be hazardous. This sort of control puts others at ease especially around large animals, puts your mind at ease if a hazard arises, and protects your dog.
This is immediate minor emotional regulation teaches them how to disengage from a situation in order to obey.
Give - hand out = place in hand
We like this command in particular for playing fetch so that the ball (which is slobbery) does not go onto the ground causing us to have to bend down to get it and keeps the spit on it from creating mud.
NOTE - Never tug a toy out of your pets possession. Tug is a game many pets enjoy and they will not understand that you are upset or frustrated as opposed to play acting. Additionally, if give or drop commands do not work because they are excited or want what they have, that means they have not learned these commands all the way and tugging the object out will encourage them not to finish learning them. Most animals would rather either frustrate you (cat generally), or take the opportunity to have a little game (dog generally), or are simply lazy, and all three of these mean that if you do not expect them to actually drop or give the object they won't, instead of you training them they will train you that you need to tug.
Drop - N.A. = whatever is in mouth onto the ground
This is useful whenever you do not want to touch what your animal has. This is useful for everything from they found a slimy stick, to they tried to eat poop, to they brought you a dead thing.
NOTE - Never tug a toy out of your pets possession. Tug is a game many pets enjoy and they will not understand that you are upset or frustrated as opposed to play acting. Additionally, if give or drop commands do not work because they are excited or want what they have, that means they have not learned these commands all the way and tugging the object out will encourage them not to finish learning them. Most animals would rather either frustrate you (cat generally), or take the opportunity to have a little game (dog generally), or are simply lazy, and all three of these mean that if you do not expect them to actually drop or give the object they won't, instead of you training them they will train you that you need to tug.
Lay down - flat hand (lowered towards the ground an inch or so) = belly on the ground until released
This is primarily used as a large emotional regulation tool for dogs, though our cats are also trained with this just more as a trick. A dog can not lay down and stay laying down if they are really excited. It can also help them control anger and learn to let it go. Additionally, for anxious animals the routine of knowing what the command means and knowing what you want in addition to knowing that you have them safe (as you would not get an animal to lay down in a tense situation or inappropriate conditions (mud)) can help with anxiety.
Sit - thumbs up (as if pressing a button with your thumb) = butt on ground until released
We teach this to our dogs as a medium level emotional regulation practice, though our cats also know this but more as a trick. It fulfills the same purpose as lay down just to a lesser degree.
Stay - stop hand signal = ceasing of movement until released
This is an emotional regulation tool in addition to being useful in a variety of circumstances. It is used in combination with sit for greater emotional regulation. We use it when there is a hazard. It is most commonly used however when we want the dogs to not go towards something, whether that be the door as we go in or out, chocolate that fell on the floor, or other things.
Fin - N.A. = release from previous command
This is a multi-use command. Some commands are expected to remain in the position until released and this is the release word we have chosen. We use this in conjunction with; cross, sit, stay, and lay down.
Heel/open hand double tap on leg - open hand double tapped on leg = come to my heel
This is emotional regulation, hazard avoidance, and multi-use for life. Most commonly this is used for before the cross command is given when crossing streets.
Pets? - hand held flat (fingers wiggled) = nose boop to hand that signaled for yes and no action for no
Mutual respect and love is the best way to train, but also to have a happy life with other beings. If your pet does not want pets for some reason that should never be a problem that you press. They should be allowed to tell you that they need some personal space, just as we train our dogs that we need our personal space. But they can't speak to tell us this. So we train them to say yes explicitly when they want pets and always respect a no, with no questions asked.
Hugs/cuddles/squishes - fist (opened and closed twice) = nose boop to hand that signaled for yes and no action for no
Mutual respect and love is the best way to train, but also to have a happy life with other beings. If your pet does not want pets for some reason that should never be a problem that you press. They should be allowed to tell you that they need some personal space, just as we train our dogs that we need our personal space. But they can't speak to tell us this. So we train them to say yes explicitly when they want hugs or cuddles and always respect a no, with no questions asked.
Tension - N.A. = there is too much tension on the leash, reduce it
Teaches the animal that we expect a certain amount of tension and no more on the leash. We do not let our dogs pull us around. This is for two reasons. First we as the people set the speed for the walk, and trying to increase it by pulling harder actually slows the walk. But second it is not good for an animal to have regulars weight on their necks, and if you harness them they do not get very much tactile feedback as to where you are or how much pressure is on the leash. Thirdly most dogs have enough torque to pull you off balance, even small ones. This is hazardous in many scenarios, but especially if a stranger, child, or elderly person is trying to walk your animal for you. Teaching them tension while on a walk helps keep them and you safe as well as making the walk more enjoyable for all involved.
We give a warning once, the second time the amount of leash available is shortened, if there are three in a row the leash is shortened further and a sit and stay is implemented until the animal calms enough to maintain proper tension. After ten steps of good tension some of the leash is released back to the animal until full extension which is the goal for the walk. Again this is mostly used during initial walk etiquette and expectations training.
Cross - N.A. = permission to be on road for purpose of crossing
Giving permission to be on the road explicitly helps reinforce that the animal is not to be on the road otherwise. Animals do not recognize cross walks, and in our neighborhoods we often cross in front of our houses or to talk to a neighbor rather than at an official cross walk. In order for the animal to understand when road is an acceptable place to be we need to tell them. This command is usually given after a heal command as full leash extension while crossing a road is (we believe) inappropriate.
Down - N.A. = you are on two legs and you should be on four
This is used primarily in two types of situations; excited jumping, and trying to see better (two paws on counter, or on door for example).
Personal space - N.A. = too close to face/do not step on me/your nose is in someone else's personal bubble
This is respect my personal space. Animals are capable of understanding a personal bubble, especially if you expect them to. We expect that our animals are not in our face, do not lick or put their noses in our groins, do not step on us, or other invasions of personal bubbles. This command helps them learn where we are comfortable and as a negative teaches them how to ask for pets or smell us or cuddle with us successfully. After a personal space command is given pets are withheld for a few minutes (10 ish). If the command is repeated three times they are then given the command of off and not allowed to be as close to us.
No licking - N.A. = stop licking
Fairly self explanatory. Alexandra does not like other being's saliva and many people do not like being licked by dogs. This command is a negative reinforced by not petting for a time (10 minutes ish) after it is given. And if it is needed to be given three times in a row it is followed by an off command enforcing additional distance.
Manners - N.A. = do not put your mouth over my hand
This one was developed because when we received Lothlorien and Poseidon they licked excessively to try and get pets. Once they had realized that licking did not work they started to simply surround a hand with their mouth, not biting, just there. Which was gross and a behaviour to be discouraged.
This command is a negative reinforced by not petting for a time (10 minutes ish) after it is given. And if it is needed to be given three times in a row it is followed by an off command enforcing additional distance.
No - N.A. = whatever you are doing you should not be
This is a multi-use and often pre-cursor command. Whenever chronic problems arise we address them specifically (no licking) but for more rare offenses it is used as an expedient way to communicate our displeasure at an action to the animals.
Scoot - N.A. = move, but not in trouble
This is used when the animal is not doing anything wrong but is simply in the way. It is a mild negative reinforced with moving as if they were not there to enforce the negative with natural conseqeunces. Such as sitting on them if they are in your spot, or walking into them if they are in the way.
Off (couch, bed, road) - N.A. = get off said thing
This is usually a disciplinary command in our household. Our animals are allowed on the furniture but only if they are being respectful. If they stop being respectful they are kicked off the furniture in question. And occasionally they are simply in the way, for example when replacing the sheets they need to get off of the bed.
This is also used to train them that they are not allowed on the road without a cross command having been given.
Nose - N.A. = your nose is where it should not be
This is used for personal space occasionally, but is most commonly used for counters, tables, and food eaten on the couch. Poodles are tall, especially our poodles, and they can simply place their head on the table. We have two tables (dinning room and kitchen), in addition to kitchen counters and their heads should never be on or over these surfaces. For sanitary reasons, but also to avoid temptation of food stealing. Additionally, we do allow our animals to be with us while we eat in other locations, but they are sill expected to be respectful of us and our food. If the nose command is given three times or there is an attempted snapping up of food or licking of food, the off command is given and they are sent away until we are done eating.
Lets go - N.A. = walk
This is used when the animals are in the way of others while on a walk to prompt walking.
We simply kick the animal or step on their paws if they are under the leash holders feet. I know it sounds cruel but you only kick them while training and then they watch for you and you extremely rarely kick them again, and these kicks have a measured weight and are placed carefully as to not injure. Whereas if you are trying to watch for them they will on a regular basis get under your feet accidentally and be occasioanlly kicked quite severely with your weight behind it in a potentially dangerous location because if you were expecting them to be there you would have moved.
However if they are tangling someone you are walking with the force goes to their necks which is not a good place for force to be (see tension command). So the command is given instead. This is also used once training is complete as a reminder if they are smelling something interesting but have been well behaved for many walks instead of a kick or a tug on the neck.
Lift - tap leg twice = lift leg that I am touching
This is useful physical manipulation for cleaning and grooming. It tells them I want you to balance on your other legs, and take your weight from this leg. Putting them somewhat in control and teaching them balance, rather than just lifting the leg and disorienting them or fighting them.
Up - palm up (hand lifted) = stand on all fours
Again this is primarily used for grooming commands. They are big dogs that we do not want to be man handling around. But giving the command and having them choose to obey it gives them a bit of control while in a process that they get very little say in.
Bring - N.A. = fetch
This is a temporary command while teaching animals that if they fetch they get more throws and more fun out of ball and human time. We simply want them to bring it (whatever it is, this can expand beyond ball) close enough that we do not need to move to get it.
Open - fingers together like a beak, then opening to full hand extension = open mouth
This is a trick that is always treated and allows us to inspect their teeth, gums, tounge, and mouth in general without needing to touch sore areas, and because we trained this when there was not a problem they do not have a negative association with us or vets looking into their mouths and are more likely to comply when something does go wrong and or is hurting them.
References
https://www.akc.org/expert-advice/training/teaching-your-pup-self-control/
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